Day 11 - Baking is my Therapy ~ Now What?

Baking is my therapy.  No baking is becoming a big problem.  I was hoping making healthy meals would fill the void that baking has left but it is not near as much fun and no one wants to lick the spoon ~ "Hey kids, who wants to lick the broccoli and cauliflour spoon"...  just not the same!  Time to put Plan B into effect.  One little problem - I don't have a Plan B!
So here's my dilemma - I gave up biting my nails, can't drink wine, can't bake (because I can't lick the spoon) and no carbohydrates.  This just possibly could be one of those "When 6 doors close at least one has to open" moments.  Maybe I will finally learn how to dance, or sing at the top of my lungs, or organize my closets.  I'm sure at the end of week 2 everything will be clear and baking will be a distant happy memory. I'll keep you posted.
CONFESSION # 1 - This side of The B Team had a little slide down the slippery slope called willpower. I ate two large spoonfuls of Peanut Butter. One of the most wonderful creations ever made is peanut butter and I finally caved - it made me incredibly happy. No looking back ~ I'm on a mission!

Day 9 - Does Time Seem to be Flying By??

You know that phrase - "Doesn't time just fly by the older you get?"   Well I have discovered an incredibly affective way to make time all but stand still... GO ON A DIET!!  The days seem long and filled with one goal - make it to the next meal without chewing off your arm (and not dream about the wine you used to drink with a good meal or just because it's Friday).  We're on Day 9 and I swear before The B Team diet this would be day 32 of a content, carbohydrate & sugar filled body!  This slow down not only is making my work days longer - because I have more hours that I'm not eating at my desk -  it is also making my work week longer and taking a whole heck of a lot longer to get to a weekend.  So there you have it ~ all the benefits of being on a diet.
So, off I go to New York City for the weekend and then Las Vegas next weekend.  Now imagine going to these two wonderful places carrying only your water bottle and "small" packets of food.  Puts a whole new twist on the excitement doesn't it!  Luckily the company I keep on both trips far outweighs (HA!) any food or alcoholic beverage I'm missing out on (except that vodka tonic I would just about run over my mother for...!!!).  

Day 8 - Drum Roll Please...

The day has finally arrived - time to weigh in.  Now I noticed immediately that my partner's wrists were much smaller then last week so I knew we were going to have good numbers...  Our total combined weight loss was a whopping 13 pounds.  My partner was a bit disappointed - she was hoping we could do 10 each but I convinced her that are bodies are in shock and they believe we are starving so they are telling the fat to stay put - that it may be needed.  Next week will be even better!!!  We did have to get on a scale that told us much more then we ever wanted/needed to know.  One of the little tidbits of info it provided us with was our metabolic age and it basically said are bodies are so old we should both be dead!  My partner would not allow me to put her metabolic age on our blog so I'm going to do like I did for the combined weight loss and do our combined metabolic age which would be 168 years old.  So now if you decide to continue to read our blog you will not only be able to watch the weight fall off but you will actually be able to see us get younger.  Now that is darn good, free entertainment if you ask me!
I think tonight I'm going to dream about Benjamin Button!

Day 6 - Plate Size

Today we went out to eat and it happened to be a buffet & I have to admit, it brought tears to my eyes - all that decadant, wonderful food, that a week prior would have found it's way into my mouth, was now only a painful tease to be stared at.  I pulled myself together, told myself over and over again how incredibly delicious vegetables are and that at the end of week 2 I will never want to make a full meal out of a couple of giant, chocolate covered peanut butter balls ever again. I now understand the "small plate" concept.  I ordered an omelet with raw veggies and checked out the other THREE tables of food and realized that was all that was going to lay on my plate.  I felt bad for it as it laid there lonely and alone. So right then and there I decided I was going to dig out an old tea set that my girls have outgrown and use those dishes from now on allowing me to have 2nds and 3rds at every meal.  I'm pretty darn excited about this. 
Tomorrow Day 7 - One full week of the exciting new chapter in my life (remember my post from yesterday - my sarcasm is on the rise).  Tuesday is the "big" weigh in day.  I think The B Team will post a combination weight loss each week since this is a team effort (unless I lose a lot more then my partner - then I will post my own).  Also, tomorrow is "Small packet of food" ordering day- I ordered 14 snacks and 7 meals - yep, I think I'm on the road to recovery!

Day 5 - Who am I?

Today I woke up and I am absolutely sure that the weight is falling off faster then I ever dreamed - oh wait, I was writing that in my sleep - my pants are still tight.  Five days of grazing ~ seems as though that should have loosened up my jeans a smidge.  Patience has never been my virtue.
I've noticed that my personality seems to be changing ever so slightly each day.  I seem to swear just a tad more and my gift of sarcasm seems to be ratcheted up to a whole new level.  It will be interesting to see who I will actually turn out to be once I reach my goal weight. One thing I believe I have figured out is why so many skinny girls are bitches - THEY ARE HUNGRY!!!!

Day 4 - Fundraising

I do the fund raising for the Annville Memorial Day Parade so I am always looking for new ideas.  An extremely strange dream I had last night involving jello (I'll get back to that) had me a little confused about it's meaning so I put it on the back burner to think about at a later time.  So off I go to begin my day - drink my water, eat my little packet of pudding (amazing how a week ago I was a fast eater - not anymore - I cut down on my shower time just so I could take longer to eat my pudding before starting my work day.- don't worry I'm still cleaning the important stuff), and then packed up my large grocery bag full of my lunch - lettuce!!!
I headed to watch my nephew wrestle at District Championships this afternoon and poof - my dream made sense.  When The B Team reaches their goal weight we will hold a jello wrestling event (it's always been on my Bucket List) and although we are friends we will compete against each other.  If we held the event now it would have to be a Sumo Wrestling event and I just don't think that will bring in the money we're looking to raise. 
So about my jello dream, let's just say that if I'm going to dream about food every night these are the kind of dreams I want to be having.  Plus, it appears to have inspired my creativity.  Wouldn't you pay $50 to see The B Team wrestle???  I guess I better run this by the other member of The B Team before I print up the flyers.

Day 3 - I Have an Idea - It's Called Hibernation

My butt is dragging this morning.  Already had my snack - which I usually stare at until at least 2:30-3:00.  I don't think that's a good sign.  Next I almost fell asleep on my 3 mile drive to my office.  And last - I'm still fat.  I truly believed that once I started this diet I would just see the weight fall off.  Now I realize it's Day 3 but Day 3 of grazing compared to what I was consuming in a day should be enough for my pants to be feeling a little looser.  I sure hope my expectations aren't too high!!
You know how you come up with a great idea and then never do anything about it and about a year or so later someone is a millionaire because they had the ambition to act on their creativity.  This may be one of those regrets for The B Team but we're going to throw it out there.  We put our snouts together and we think we have the perfect diet.  The Hibernation Diet.  Who really wants to be awake through the winter months anyway.  You rent a comfy, cozy hole, curl up in a ball and go to sleep for 3 months.  At the end of 3 months, someone wakes you up, you crawl out and POOF you are 30-50 pounds lighter.  I realize there would be a lot more too this but I'm throwing out the basic idea for someone to run with (and make millions).  Am I looking for a shortcut to getting rid of this body I have worked so hard over the years to expand to the point where my skin hurts - you betcha!  But for now I guess grazing my day away will have to be choice number 2. 

A Partner Setback

I got through lunch - painfully!  No one in their right mind can eat 4 quarts of salad a day.  I don't want to harp on this salad thing but holy crap!  I have never, as long as I can remember, not been able to clean my plate - I was never going to go to bed feeling bad about the starving children in Africa (that sounds wrong seeing that in writing, I do care about the starving children in Africa and next week I will be packing up huge boxes of lettuce to share with them). Anyway, my point is I CAN'T DO IT!!  I cannot eat 2 quarts of lettuce at a sitting - I don't care what you throw on top of it.  This is going to be a problem.  How can it possibly affect how much weight I lose each week if I cut my lettuce intake back to 1 quart a day...???  Time to check in with the other half of Team B.
She assured me it's a filler and she believes we can leave it out as long as we don't replace it with something else - that's why I love her!  She has saved me from the nightmare that was about to occur tonight if I ate 2 more quarts of lettuce with my dinner. 
As a side note, before I praise the other half of The B Team too much - she actually had a little slip off the diet we had dedicated ourselves too just the day before.  Yesterday she had 2 pieces of chewing gum.  After I expressed my slight disappointment in her setback I told her to pick herself up and we'll move forward - no looking back.  I think she is re-committed but I guess only time will tell. 

Day # 2 - Jumped Out of Bed

Day 2 - What a wonderful morning - the sun is shining, I had a good nights sleep (dreamt about the good old days when I could eat food that tasted good) and woke up with the love of my life next to me.  OH MY GOD, I can eat something...!!!!  Get up, get up - I'll make the bed later.  Here's your coffee, quick get your coat on (yes we live in sin when my kids are with their dad), love you, talk to you later, bye!!!  What yummy goodness could possibly await me this morning.  I look in my bag - it's like Christmas - and pull out all my delicious food packets (they are very small packets for someone my size).  I make piles - Drinks, Soups, Puddings.  Wait a minute!!!  There are about 10 packs of drinks, 3 puddings and 3 soups.  You have got to be kidding me.  Some of my meals over the next 6 days will be a drink.  Before I jump to conclusions I will have to go home and read the directions on the back of the very small packets and as long as they say mix with 5-7 oz. of Vodka I'll be ok. 
So this morning I had chocolate pudding - I actually ate it in bed while watching TV - pretending it was a special treat to be eating chocolate for breakfast.  Seemed to make me happier to do it that way then sitting at the kitchen table to eat it.  I'm a little excited about how creative I'll become to make this diet work - Salad by the rabbit cage in the back yard - just for dinner company.  A drink in my shaker cup at the bar on a Friday night.  The options are endless. 

2 Quarts of Lettuce - Twice a Day - Are you Kidding Me??!!

Day 1 - We can do this!!!  Mind over Matter.  Let's start with the 64oz. of water we need to drink (the other B of the B team needs to drink more because of a recent kidney issue but we won't go into that).  I have spent 2.5 hours of the last 8 waking hours either in, looking for or heading for a bathroom.  I know I have mentioned that we are past our prime and we have both given birth more then once so all you women out there no what that means - we wet our pants.  We wet them when we sneeze, cough, walk fast, laugh, do jumping jacks (oh, who am I kidding, we haven't done those since elementary school), but you get my point.  Now, let's add 64 oz. to my diet - I was doing 8 oz. at best on my "let's get fat" plan. They didn't mention that Depends may be an additional expense to this diet.
Next we have the lettuce.  We can do lettuce.  We knew in our minds that lettuce was going to be a big part of this diet and we had mentally prepared ourselves and even convinced ourselves how good we could make it taste with all those yummy vegetables we would be able to put on top. 
Now wait, you want me to eat how much lettuce???  Did you say 2 quarts - show me what that looks like.  Oh, that bowl - we can do that but that is a BIG salad.  TWICE A DAY Are you kidding me???  I only gagged on the last 3 fork fulls of my first 2 quarts at lunch.  I can hardly wait for dinner.  How the heck am I going to get the next 2 quarts down.  Looks like I'm going to have the additional expense of the Bullet (and no not the kind to put in my head) to make my 4 quarts of lettuce into some kind of yummy smoothey (A woman can dream can't she).

I'm Nine Months Pregnant

I decided to stop hiding from the reality of what I had become.  I realized the number on the scale was the same number as when I went into the hospital to give birth to my last child.  So, I went into work and announced to everyone that I am officially 9 months pregnant (remember, I'm 50).  Then after the shock and awkwardness dissapated (I like to give some of the shit I say a few moments before fixing things), I completed my sentence with the rest of the story - I now weigh what I weighed 9 months pregnant and smiled and slid onto my ball chair I bought a few years back to build up my core.  To my surprise it has not popped yet so although I have accepted the fact that I have no core I really have gotten my moneys worth by still having a conversation piece as part of my office furniture.

Weighing In

We knew this day was coming if we were actually going to do this diet but the reality of the scale in the room with us - smiling, pointing, bracing itself for the load it was about to bare - was amazingly even more stressful then we imagined.  After slicing our wrists, I mean pricking our finger, and pinky swearing to never repeat the numbers we were about to see, even if our children were about to be harmed, was agreed to, we took turns stepping on the scale. 
ARE YOU FRICKIN' KIDDING ME?  When the heck did that number happen?  Now wait, let me take off my socks, my jewelry, my fake nails so you can try this again.  So there it was ~ We could no longer pretend it wasn't as bad as it really is.  Maybe I'm not done growing (I'm 50).  Maybe your scale needs to be recalibrated.  Maybe, just maybe, we're fat!!!

Our Story Begins

For awhile now I have spent many nights laying in bed wondering how fat I will actually have to get before I am motivated to do something about it.  Never really came up with an answer to that question (as I kept getting bigger and bigger).  Then it happened ~ a call from a friend from my past - the other B of the "B Team" called (she's fat too).  She heard about a new diet ~ do I want to try it with her.  Are you kidding???  Of course I do.  So our story begins.